Welcome Earthside Eric Bennett

It’s been a long time since I updated this blog but when my midwife suggested I write out my birth story this week while enjoying the first week relaxing at home with new baby, Eric Bennett, yes now our 4th child I thought this would be the perfect place to store this memory and hopefully find some time to update on others.

Since Audrina’s birth we have welcomed 3 more blessings! Audrina was supposed to be born at a birthing center but after a day of hard labor with no progress we went to St Pete General where we saw her heart rate bottom out with each contraction and a csection happened immediately. I reacted very poorly to the medications and don’t remember the first moments with my baby. We found out on day 3 she had a critical congenital heart defect and she had open heart surgery at 8 days old. We finally brought our baby home a month later (she was exclusively breastfed once home and that normalcy I cherished so much.) I had a lot of things to work through which I did in this blog and we became pregnant with Siena in the fall of 2012. I yearned for a normal birth and sought out the ICAN community where I found a local obgyn and  midwife. I was told by several that I should stick with TGH doctors for the hopes of a VBAC but with Audrina’s heart and all we went through I needed a local team. Robyn, the doctor’s midwife, was incredible and helped me with my VBAC with Siena. I labored at home for 16 hours then went to the hospital. The hospital brought me much anxiety and I shut down. I no longer felt strong and got the epidural I did not want to. When pushing came I could not feel anything and had to be coached to push, her shoulder got stuck and I ended up tearing. The recovery was a little rough from the tear but not having a medical procedure was very healing mentally. We ended up getting pregnant in 2015 after just moving into our new home. It was unexpected but welcome. At around 11 weeks I woke up to spotting to find out I was having a missed miscarriage where the baby had most likely passed 3 weeks before. I wanted to miscarry naturally but that did not happen and I required a D&C. The OB performed the procedure. I asked him a question about something I read online about the D&C and he told me (right before I went under) that the internet was only good for porn and emails.... I should have left the practice after that but his midwife kept me there as I really like her. We ended up pregnant again with an early miscarriage. I thought we were definitely done having kids but low and behold I ended up pregnant in the new year of 2017 with Evangeline. I stayed with the practice and just thought I would have another VBAC. Well hurricane Irma arrived in Sept of 2017 and we found ourselves evacuating at around 37 weeks pregnant. I was carrying around my dog, Kyla, who was 80 pounds and couldn’t walk, moving and packing things for hurricane prep. On September 25th I coughed and a small amount of liquid came out, I thought pee. I put a pad on and the pad stayed dry. I went to go get checked at the hospital the following afternoon because I had a nagging feeling it could have been my water. Unfortunately the test came back saying it was, I wasn’t in active labor, GBS+ and had a prior csection so I was told I had no choice but to have a csection. As I walked back to the operating room I coughed again and a ton of fluid came out. Now I realize that my water just had a small leak but it didn’t fully break until I was being walked back. Maternal fetal medicine at TGH explained to me if I would have been under their care at the time they would have taken steps to induce. But such is life and Evangeline is my sweetest and healthiest girl, she arrived how she did and I made peace with it. The healing was incredibly rough from the csection so when we miraculously found out I was pregnant once again in the spring of 2019, I knew this birth had to be vastly different from the others... and here is the Birth Story of Eric Bennett Nye;

Our 10 year anniversary was March 14, 2019 we wanted to do something big and with Evangeline still young (18 months) and still breastfeeding we decided to take the entire family on a winter adventure to Vermont. We stayed at the Trapp Family Lodge and had an incredible time. We went skiing and Eric being the sportsman he is pushed it to the limits and ended up really hurting his leg on the last slope he tried. I seriously almost had to carry him through the airport home. With that and us picking up some funky sickness on the plane we were all out of commission for what would have been my “fertile” period. My cycle never showed up and I took tests that were always negative so thought it was because I was still breastfeeding Evangeline. Well low and behold on around calendar day 45 I got a faint POSITIVE TEST! We were shocked to say the least, my due date according to my LMP was Christmas Day and we definitely thought some type of immaculate conception occurred! I went in for an ultrasound just to see what was going on. I should have been around 6 weeks pregnant but only an empty sac was seen, I was pretty positive I would be miscarrying soon. On Mother’s Day 2019 I woke up and started bleeding. I thought oh great miscarrying on Mother’s Day.... it was a pretty somber day but I just accepted the reality. Well the bleeding didn’t continue so I went for another ultrasound where we saw a HEARTBEAT! The baby was measuring 6 weeks then with an EDD of January 8, 2020. We still weren’t really sure how this little miracle came to be but I was cautiously optimistic. Unfortunately each week for the next couple weeks I would bleed and think I was  miscarrying but then be reassured by an ultrasound I wasn't. My last 1st trimester ultrasound around 8 weeks showed a due date of January 2nd, 2020. We decided to do the genetic screening through blood work as soon as we could 1.) with our history to find out health status of baby 2.) we knew we would be hearing lots of "maybe it will be a boy this time!" So wanted to find that out asap, just to quiet down those sentiments...What's funny is that we have never cared about gender at all. I met a man early in my pregnancy (he did not know I was pregnant) who told me he had 5 girls and it was the best part of his life. I figured we would be the same and was OK with that. But low and behold at our first ever gender reveal we found out we were having a BOY! We also found out the screening turned out to not reveal anything that would cause me to miscarry so I finally let my guard down, accepted I was pregnant and got to work deciding exactly how this baby would be born.

After interviewing several local midwives I decided on the team at Barefoot Birth. Because of my history I had 3 choices: stay at the local hospital and have another csection, travel to TGH who has the best VBAC and VBA2C rates and deliver there or have a home birth. Through Evangeline's pregnancy I kept picturing myself laboring in our room and bath tub with the morning light entering, I never got that experience even though the vision was so strong, my gut said, "now Rachel, this baby will be born at home." The pregnancy went relatively smoothly, I started feeling braxton hicks around 14 weeks so took my workouts down considerably and focused on yoga and walking. My 20 week ultrasound showed a healthy and growing very big baby boy. The fetal echo a couple weeks later showed the same with everything looking good. Barefoot Birth provides home prenatal visits and that was quite a treat, especially since I started homeschooling this year. We can consider those part of their lesson's. The girls enjoyed using the doppler and helping with measurements. 

With my due dates all over and around the holidays I was just trying to stay ahead of the game those last couple weeks. I still was having a ton of Braxton Hicks but became quite used to them. My midwives advised I eat dates to help with labor. With my history of long hard labors I was willing to try anything, so 6 dates a day starting around 24 weeks is what I did. I NEVER WANT TO EAT ANOTHER DATE AGAIN! LOL! I had a doula who I was doing yoga and energy work with. Around 34 weeks she told me she couldn't assist with a home birth. At first it upset me but quickly I heard that voice in my head that said, "Rachel you have this, it doesn't matter what or who is with you, God is by your side and He will give you all you need." I would say this was my mantra for birth, finally putting all my trust in God and myself to bring this baby Earth Side.

On the night before New Years Eve I had some leaking I noticed when I got out of bed. I thought oh no my water broke. I called my midwife and she came and checked me New Years Eve day. I was not in labor and it had been about 10 hours from the incident. Her tests were not conclusive if my water had broken so she advised me that I needed to go to Tampa General Hospital. We didn't even have a hospital bag packed, so I quickly did that and brought the girls to Grandma's. I listened to my birth playlist on the way there and just cried. At check in I just cried. the staff was confused thinking it should be a happy moment but I explained it wasn't exactly how we planned this. I was pretty sure I was dealing with the same situation I had with Evangeline, I was just thankful that they told me if my water broke they would try to induce me before a csection. The doctor came back with the results and happily told me my water did not break. I was 39 weeks by my 1st ultrasound calculation. They could have easily advised me to stay in the hospital but they told me I WAS FREE TO GO HOME AND BIRTH THERE!

New Years day we woke up at home, still no baby! So time to take down all the Christmas Decorations and that I did, I came to the conclusion this baby won't be here for awhile. I then watched the movie "The Art of Racing in the Rain" because my dad had told me there was a good home birth in it. Well, it was one of those sappy dog movies and I cried the entire time. My face was swollen from crying....I think  it really released all the hormones because after a New Years dinner of black eyed peas and collard greens (good luck for 2020!) and putting the kids to bed my water really did break! I now realize my water didn’t break with Evangeline until I was walking back for the surgery where when I coughed I thought I peed all over the hospital floor, I probably had a very small leak and that cough broke it fully. It was definitely a weird sensation as the water just kept flowing out of me. I thought to myself well he either has to be here in the next day or back to the hospital as labor hadn’t kicked up to anything more than the constant “Braxton-Hicks” or contractions I had been feeling for weeks. I tried to go to bed but when I used the bathroom the water was pink tinged. I thought oh no this is not good and called my midwife where they assured me it was normal (I never knew that). It was around midnight then and my midwife said she was on her way. After that phone call stronger contractions started, yay!!! I think Eric didn’t believe it was really happening and I had to tell him no, now it’s go time! The other labors I let him sleep while I labored at night. Not this time, he was by my side, well actually behind me because somehow this baby turned sunny side up after being in a good position and back labor was what I was facing with another labor. Each contraction Eric gave me incredible counter pressure, I told him it released the pain just like the epidural had with Siena. I focused on resting between the contractions. Filling my lungs and diaphragm with air, picturing waves breaking and/or a flower opening. I enjoyed moving from my bed, the floor, the shower and then the tub. My midwife, Bennett, arrived around 1 am and checked me. I was still only 2 cms the same as two days before. I remember thinking it’s OK, as long as he is out in a day everything will be fine. Around that time Evangeline woke up. She pretty much sleeps with us so there she was laboring with me, showing me her socks, holding my hand, just looking over me with her big beautiful green eyes, she truly is like an Angel. The contractions came pretty consistent but I honestly stopped timing them once my midwife arrived, I didn’t really even know where my phone was (imagine that!). I had created a birth play list with some of my favorite Christian songs (I listened to it so much while walking and doing mental prep for this labor, it's kind of funny I never actually used it during) but I wanted music without any lyrics and picked out a Labor Meditation playlist and used that. It played quietly in the background as my greatest voice was the one in my head (or God:) telling me “You got this! Everything will be fine!” At around 4 am I requested another cervical check. Bennett advised me to limit those but I just had to know. I was 5 cms and my thoughts were OK halfway there, I probably will have this baby by lunch time tomorrow and that I will call my two friends who offered to be a doula and a birth photographer when the sun came up. Bennett advised me to do some exercises on the ball and lunges. I remember getting "stuck" in our hallway through one contraction and Eric saying "let's not do that again". Around 5:15 I went back to the shower. I'm able to read my midwife's notes and at that time she wrote,  

" Breathing through contractions. Eric giving lots of good counter pressure and massage."

 After the shower I went into the tub.  The notes from that time were kind of funny to me as I did feel like I needed to push and these were my comments and Eric's;

 "something is coming out! is he coming out?!" 

Rachel feels an increase and pressure and some trickling amniotic fluid.

"Eric reassures her."

..Eric "reassured me".....thanks Eric!!! While I I thoroughly enjoyed laboring in the tub I also felt "too relaxed"and  I was worried I would stall labor so I moved to the bed. I vaguely remember my other midwife Erica arriving then and my husband going downstairs for "breakfast"..It was around 6 am and I told everyone, "I'm done", I remember asking my midwife how dilated I was and her telling me, "we see his head" so yes 10 cm! I  remember yelling to Eric to come upstairs from his coffee break....he smelled like a banana too, which mildly ticked me off, how dare he eat while I am pushing out our baby. Poor guy worked hard all night with me through each contraction, so I forgive him. I pushed on my hands and knees as this felt most comfortable. It was so different from pushing with Siena who I had an epidural with. It was such a cool feeling and in fact so much better than the feeling of back labor contractions. Around 6:15 I remember feeling the "ring of fire" and thought oh yeah that's what we learned about in our Bradley Method class we took 10 years ago (finally utilized those skills) I felt a relief with a push at 6:36 and his head was out. I didn't realize the urgency to deliver the rest of him and I think I kind of froze/or took a break when it was still go time. My midwives were very calm and advised me to get into another position and with my next contraction to give it my all. I didn't know it but his shoulder was stuck just like Siena's was, Bennett was able to maneuver his shoulder and I dug deep and used a lot of the techniques I use when weightlifting and as I rolled to my side beautiful Eric Bennett Nye was born at 6:40am as the sun was rising!! He was placed immediately on my chest (on our bed) and given a little stimulation to get that first cry out. Within seconds he coughed and soon after began nursing. Our midwives took such good care of all of us, I will be forever grateful that God brought me this team to bring our baby Earth Side with. While we waited for the cord to stop pulsing I was checked and had no tears. I naturally delivered the placenta where upon it’s delivery we discovered it was slightly unique (no surprise there, that's our life "slightly unique"...). It was such a surreal feeling delivering my baby in our bedroom, the room where he was created and now the place where I sleep with him each night. When I nurse him there I get a flood of memories of him taking his first breaths on my chest. As he was being born Audrina and Siena woke up, unfortunately Audrina wasn't feeling great but still was able to enjoy the experience and our kind midwives helped care for her. Evangeline had finally fallen asleep right before I began pushing...so she was passed out in the bed next to me while I pushed her brother out. They still talk about that morning after the shock of waking up to a new baby wore off. Now it's an exciting story! Siena says the sounds I was making sounded like, "daddy rolled on top of mommy" (that's kind of how we ended up here....lol) 

I didn’t share with many people that we were having a home birth and it’s still such a sacred experience but I feel writing and sharing is healing . I didn’t need any doubt or negativity put out into the universe. I rested in the strong voice God alone gave me that this was the plans for Eric Bennett’s birth. A God Shaped life is allowing God to decide the plans He has for you and being a faithful servant in whatever those plans may be. 

Welcome Earth Side, Eric Bennett, you are a strong fighter and we are eager to see what this  beautiful life has in store for you.